The Narratives of Sergeant Christina Wright
by killer whale gal
Summary: Chris writes everything in her diary about Atlantis. Especially about that Lieutenant Ford! But is it just a safe friendship forming or something much more deep? Set season one, no spoilers.
1. Part one

**A/N **- Hallo! Just thought I'd say a few things regarding this little story. I'm honestly not sure if I am shamelessly writing this or shamfully doing so. Heh. Everything I have written has been done with a purpose, whether it is bad grammar at points or weird wording. This a half diary, half story type things so it's interesting. Hope it stays easy to read. . But yeah, I'm not trying to win the Pulitzer prize or anything like that, just trying to have a little bit of fun. So, I'm gonna go ahead and post this diary in easy to read chunks. :D Enjoy!

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Dear Diary,  
I haven't kept a diary in…in well I don't know. So, I don't know if I'll be writing much. Some things might deserve merit and to be written down. Does that make sense? I'm not good with writing words yet so maybe this will help. I don't know. Write later.  
- Christina

Dear Diary,  
Been a few days. Am I too old to use 'dear diary'? Maybe I'll just use it so I can feel like I'm not just sitting in a room alone by myself to write alone. Been going off world a whole bunch and nothing interesting is going on. Yay.

Dear Diary,  
Something happened today! I was eating in the mess, alone, sadly, and there he was. This amazing human being just sitting there. Well…he wasn't _just_ sitting there, he was with a few people. Major Sheppard, the Commanding Officer, and some important scientist named McKay. I don't know his name but I intend on finding out what it is. It is my understanding he is a Lieutenant. Me being a Sergeant that would make him my superior and why am I figuring this stuff out? Is he too far up on the social ladder? Listen to me. I act like I'm in high school. I'm almost twenty-four years old. Time to grow up.

Then again, if we don't make any small problems for ourselves here, we would surely just die anyway.  
- Chris

Dear Diary,  
After two days of investigating I found out his name was Ford. I think that's a last name. I don't know, I just listened to some other military people talking and that's what they said. Or, well, I heard Major Sheppard's name and his name mentioned a lot. I should start referring to him as Lieutenant Ford considering he out ranks me and deserves my respect. Oh yeah!

Dear Diary,  
I know his first name! eee! Him and that alien chick were walking down the hallway and called him Aiden. What a nice name. Aiden Ford. Lieutenant Aiden Ford. He's just so damn cute, I can't help it. He looked at me and gave me a head nod as we passed each other in the hallway, I nearly tripped. But didn't, thank God. So things are going well in the strange calmness of Atlantis. I kind of like it that way. Ugh. It's sad to think that Ford and I could never be even if something did happen. Damn military.

Scratch that. I'm more proud of what I do then what I do with anything else in the world. If that makes sense, I'm just saying I wouldn't want to do anything else with my life at the moment. I'm in a place no one else could dream of and I love it. Love it.  
- Chris

Diary,  
Kill me, I'm bored.

Diary,  
Who would have thought in the week I haven't written something would have happened. Major Sheppard and his team were on a routine excursion on some planet meeting with the locals and what not and the Wraith showed up. They were taking heavy fire so the Major called in for backup. In about two minutes my team was out of the Stargate and on P7G-866. This Wraith Cruiser was bearing down on their position so us in the Puddle Jumper dialed the gate for them, fired some very well aimed shots at the Cruiser and got the hell out of there. And if I can be proud, it was I who fired the shots. The ATA gene took to my body and I can fly the jumper now.

Man I love to fly.  
- Chris

Dear Diary,  
What. A day. Shoowee. To think it was just yesterday I saved a team in need! (Oh yes, has my ego ballooned.) So there I was, sitting in the mess hall, There's this scientist named Elsa, she's from Germany, and we've become pretty good friends. She had to leave lunch early to run tests or something so I was just finishing up my chip beef before I went to wherever I had to go. And then, a little voice from behind me came. I'll just write the conversation the best I remember it.

"Sergeant Wright?" I heard the voice from in front of me, and when I looked up to see who it was I saw Lt. Ford! I choked a little on my beef.

"Yes?" I said and he sat down across from me.

"So you saved our asses yesterday?" He asked, with a slight grin on his face. I tried very hard to force normal, everyday words out of my mouth. It probably sounded forced and like I was trying, thought.

"I was part of the team, yeah," I said nonchalantly.

"You fired the shot, though, right?"

"I did, yeah," I said trying to brush it off as no big deal, but inside I was screaming. He recognized me! Or at least appreciated me. Knew I was alive? What was I feeling? Who cares!? He was sitting there talking to me!

"Well, thanks," He said with a grin and nodded his head ever so slightly.

"Anytime," I said and did a quick motion with my hand. I just kind of twisted it and lifted it up. There was a brief silence as we both just sat in each others company wondering what to do next.

"I'll see you around," Lt. Ford finally said and hesitantly got up.

"You as well Lieutenant," I said and gave an awkward wave. Honestly, could things have gone any better? My first awkward moment with him has happened! We can finally move on and be acquaintances. I think I am going to go to bed now, that way with these sweet thoughts in my head now, I can wake up happy tomorrow morning. Hm. I wonder what is in store for tomorrow.  
-Christina

Dear Diary,  
It's 6:02 in the morning and nothing interesting has happened for the past two days. I mean, sure we've gone offworld and all the routine things that go on around here, but nothing. And I'm not talking strictly about a certain someone, I mean in general. Things are slow, when does that happen?

LATER AT NIGHT – WHOA! This day ended up good!...in a bad way. Or it ended up bad in a good way, I dunno. All I know is that I just couldn't fall back asleep this morning so I got out of bed and got dressed. I rolled some sneakers on my feet and walked out of my quarters. May as well stay fit so I went on a jog. It was a really nice day outside so I figured that I would just go outside and go jogging, but I started at the door of my room, put my iPod in my ears and pumped up the jams.

So on the brief part of my jog that I was inside of Atlantis was when everything went down. I was jogging to Who Let the Dogs Out, because I refuse to believe that song will ever go out of style, and, haha, this is embarrassing. So I had my eyes closed and I was basically jog dancing to this song and then WHAM. I stumbled backwards and jerked my iPod out of my ears to the floor. When I finally opened my eyes to figure out who it was, I saw it was Lt. Ford.

"Are you okay!?" I asked, wide eyed.

"Yeah," I said, still a little shocked.

"I'm so sorry," I said, "I'm so so sorry." He tried to calm me down by reassuring me he was really fine but I kept apologizing anyway.

"Sergeant!" He finally said forcefully. I immediately shut up, "I'm fine." His face softened.

"Well good," I said and bobbled my head a little bit.

"Why are you jogging so early?" He inquired.

"I couldn't really sleep," I admitted. He gave a slight chuckle.

"Yeah, me either. Thought I would walk around and have some quiet time to myself."

"I hear ya," I said nodding. Having time to yourself isn't as hard as finding _quiet_ time to yourself. That was a whole thing by itself. Then, the conversation just went on for a short while and that was that. Well not really. He ended by telling me if I even wanting someone to jog with he would come along. Score! I'll consider taking him up on that offer. Good day, very good day.  
-Chris

Diary,  
Been about a week I guess? Things in that time have defiantly got a hyped up. The day after I went jogging I guess it was, the team I am on went offworld, no big deal. Well, actually, it turned into a big deal. There was this huge Wraith outpost that used to be operational. So my team did some poking around just seeing what was there, and then this wraith popped out of no where! And he had some friends too. Who had all recently fed. So my team was trying as hard as we possibly could to get back to the gate while trying to kill these Wraith. And then this Dart comes and starts to send its beam things down.

We were all pretty baffled as to what was going on. We had checked for life signs and all and nothing came up. Then we figured out they used the damn hibernation strategy again. It's beginning to get so frustrating. I reached the DHD first and started to dial as fast as I could to Atlantis and immediately Lt. Lopez checked on the radio "We're coming in hot!" Someone else sent the IDC and we ran for the gate. The Wraith were so close to us that we all basically jumped in the Stargate. As we tumbled into the gate room, they raised the shields. Then we saw the banging of the Wraith trying to come after us. It was seriously intense. But that's what to do to live with here. Life and limb. Never a dull moment.  
- Chris

Dear Diary,  
Doc diagnosed me with pneumonia. I'm off active duty for at least a week or more. Sweet life.

Dear Diary,  
I'll update you a little while I have all the time in the world to just sit around and get better. Sorry I was so brief yesterday. Basically, I went jogging and I found that I was having a very tough time catching my breath. Breathing at all felt kinda weird and I was wheezing. I don't have asthma so I went to the infirmary. Ol' doc Beckett checked me out and concluded it was a case of Pneumonia. He said we had caught it early, which was a good thing, but I should defiantly stay off my feet. And Dr. Weir confined me to bed rest! Yay! So now I don't have anything to do. If I do another Sudoku I'll scream. I'm going to take a nap, see ya.


	2. Part two

Dear Diary,  
Day four of bed rest, didn't write yesterday because there was nothing to say. Maybe four is a lucky number because good things happen to those who wait! I was sitting on my laptop playing another round of solitaire when my little bell on my door rang. I told them they could come in. And when the door opened, Lt. Ford walked in! I immediately freaked because I haven't showered and I looked like shit, I knew it.

"Hey, how are you?" He asked walking into my room.

"Been better," I said with a shrug, "You can sit down if you want." I gestured towards one of the chairs in my room. He took one and drew it closer to my bed where I was seated.

"Got you something," He said and handed me a flower and a card. I smiled and took it. We'd only talked a few times but this was going down with major props in my book. I thanked him and opened the card which juts said 'Get Well Soon' and was signed Aiden Ford.

"Thank you," I told him again and put the flower and card on my bed side table.

"I got the flower from the botany room," He told me, "Well actually I just kind of walked in and snatched it." He snickered, and so did I.

"Well, I appreciate stolen flowers just as much as the next person," I assured him. There was an awkward silence as I searched frantically in my mind to find something to say.

"What's been up with you?" I asked.

"Same thing as always. Going offworld and things like that," He said, "Oh, McKay was held hostage at some village until he told them how to harvest crops better. That was kind of funny." I chuckled. McKay was one man that I didn't really know too much about, but knew his reputation as hard to get along with.

"That sounds like fun," I said just to fill space. As much as I liked to have someone visit me and especially have him talk to me, I didn't really like small talk all that much.

"Who's bringing you food?" He asked.

"Different people, some I know and some I don't," I said. A couple friends had done so a few times.

"Maybe I'll jump on that band wagon," He offered.

"That'd be nice," I said.

"I'll see you tomorrow, then" He got up and started to take the chair back to where it was.

"You don't have to worry about that," I said just being nice. But then I thought to myself: That way you won't have to pull it back tomorrow.

"Good night, Sergeant."

"Night, Lieutenant."

When he left I was in my bed all happy and stuff and couldn't stop smiling. He's adorable. But nothing can change the fact we are both military. Does he even like me? I guess coming to visit me means he doesn't hate me. Best not get your hopes up, Chris, not like it's possible anyway.  
- Christina

Dearest Diary,  
Sick day number five might be the best sick day of them all, so far! Aw hell, this has been the best day in a long time. So I woke up this morning and I felt really good. Good as in healthy. So I rolled my butt out of my bed, felt my bones creak, and walked to the showers. I took a quick one and finally felt clean. I also felt a lot better, showering helps so much. Then I rolled back to my room and lay down on my bed. That short time of being up and about was enough for me, but it was good to get out of bed. And I still didn't feel as bad as I did about two days ago so I am defiantly getting better. Then I sat down to wonder when he was going to come. It was lunch!

He came in carrying to trays and a big ol' smile on his face.

"Hey!" I said chipperly. This time I had made my bed and was sitting on it with my legs over the side, rather then hidden under blankets.

"Hey!" He said back. He pulled up the chair once more and handed me my tray. I assumed he planned on having lunch with me since he had two trays of food. And he did. Today we actually talked like we were friends, and not just people who knew one another. That was so cool, so, so cool. He's so great. I do remember a few specific parts of the conversation.

"The food here isn't nearly as good as my grandma's," He told me.

"Oh yeah, I know what you mean," I said and took a bite from the apple pie that was on the tray, "Like this pie. I make a mean apple pie and this is just crap."

"Oh do you?" He said, quickly swallowing a mouthful of food.

"You bet I do. Dessert and football is what my family does,"

"I'd like to see this apple pie of yours," He said skeptically.

"I'll make it for you as soon as I am better."

"Won't be as good as my grandma's."

I paused, "How am I supposed to argue with that?" I said, my eyes bulging. Lt. Ford laughed. His laugh is infectious, if I recorded it I could be perpetually happy.

"Your not," He told me with a smile, "But I would still like to see it."

"Okay then. I'll radio you when I am better and I can go make this pie for you."

"It's a deal."

And the whole thing was really sweet and wonderful. Augh! He's just such a great guy! He left and told me to get better soon. And believe me, with the idea of seeing him again once I am better I am going to get better reeeeaaaal soon. I've got the biggest grin in the world on my face.  
- Chris

Dear Diary,  
It's been a week since I went on bed rest and I'm feeling a million percent better. Not a moment to late. I have to go to Dr. Weir to get updates and everything but it looks like I am back on my feet.

Dear Diary,  
Another fabulous day! Actually night. I finished my dinner in the mess with Elsa and was walking back to my room when I took a detour to a balcony. I looked down at the black sea below and then up at the stars. And then, I radioed for Lt. Ford.

"Lieutenant Ford?" I asked, and there was about a two second pause.

"Go ahead."

"I'm in the mood for some Apple Pie, what about you?" There was another few second delay before he spoke again.

"I'll meet you in the mess in fifteen minutes." My heart fluttered a little and I half considered running back to the mess. I kept my composure though and casually strolled down the hallway. I reached the mess first and he showed up a few minutes later. We walked to the kitchens and took control of an oven and counter. As I was preparing it we just sat there and talked and talked about anything we really wanted to. We talked about how cool it was to be on Atlantis and how there wasn't any other place we would rather be. I learned a lot about his family tonight too. His grandma, his grandpa, his cousin Lara. I love to learn about him, everything about him. Talking to him is so easy.

And then finally, the pie was done, "And here is the best Apple Pie you will ever taste." I said, cut him out a slice and put it in front of him. I took one too.

"I don't know," he said putting a piece on his fork, "Smells kinda funny." He of course was kidding.

"Just eat it," I scolded him. I ate a chunk of mine and came to the conclusion that it was probably one of the better pies I have ever made. I looked up at him to see what he thought. His safe screamed satisfaction.

"Wow," He said, "I think even my grandma would be impressed!"

"I'll take that as a very high compliment," I replied and ate another piece.

"You know, we should share this," He said as he finished his slice up.

"Yeah, with who?"

"Dr. Weir?" He offered.

"And Doctor Becket?" We both smiled and started to slice up the pie to send it off to people. Juvenile spontaneity at it's strongest. It was fun though to do something different though, and giving out pie made you liked, right? So we raced across the city to Dr. Weirs office.

"Dr. Weir?" Lt. Ford asked before stepping into her office.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" she asked without even looking up from her paperwork.

"We have something for you, ma'am," He said and we both walked in. I place the piece of pie on her desk.

"What's this for?" She asked, looking at us skeptically.

"We just made some pie and wanted to share it," I said with a slight shrug.

"You two made pie?" She asked.

"Actually, Ma'am, Sergeant Wright did and I just kind of watched," he said with a slick smile.

"Uh-huh," She said now just being happy, "Well thank you very much."

"You're welcome ma'am," The two of us chimed and ran to give Dr. Beckett his slice. It was such a fun night. I hope more nights like tonight happen in the future. It's good to make friends like Lt. Ford  
-Chris

Dear Diary,  
Three days ago I wrote about the pie? I think. Maybe. Atlantis goes on as it ever did. Lt. Ford and I went jogging today, it was quite nice.


	3. Part three

Dear Diary,  
Oh yeah, I know how to choose good friends. Haha, kind of a funny story anyway. So Elsa and I were playing cards and we were on the topic of men. We came to the conclusion that although Major Sheppard as a little old for us, we wouldn't mind being in bed with him. Him being my commanding officer, that was really awkward to admit, but it was just girl talk. Seriously, it was like really weird, I didn't like saying it. But, It's not like I'm going to act on that. Too old. And I have my own interests. Which is exactly what Elsa backed me into a corner about!

"And what about that Lieutenant Ford?" She asked with her strong German accent, and a smirk. I tried really hard to hide my shock about the question.

"What about him?" I asked like I didn't care.

"You two have been spending a lot of time together."

"What?" I asked, drawing out the 'A', "No we haven't." And then she laughed like she knew something that I didn't.

"You two have been spending a lot of time together," She stated again.

"No we haven't," I said a little more strongly this time. Also, wondering what her definition of a lot was.

"Oh yes you have," She mocked me, "I saw you two jogging. And I heard about a particular pie incident?"

And then I couldn't help but blush. Yeah. I guess we were spending some time together. When we could. We were generally busy people, we had a lot to do what with being military on the base. "Is it just you who has noticed this?" I asked, scared of the answer.

"No, a few others." She admitted and dealed out cards for another round of Kings in the Corner. I groaned. Damn the Atlantis grape vine! Did people honestly not have anything better to do?

"Who?"

"A few scientists. We've all been secretly keeping up on the developing relationship." When she said this my jaw dropped. How could that be? Was it that bad? Or…good? Haha, whatever.

"And what do you think?" I asked.

"I like him," She said with a nod, "And I like the idea of you and him together." I took my cards and stared at them.

"Don't count on it. We're both military."

"Romeo and Juliet," She said and so we played our game.

It was a good conversation, and even though it's like yeah, too bad, I liked having her approval for what it was worth. Funny to think about scientists sitting around talking about something other then nerdy stuff. I'm still having a hard time not thinking of every scientist as a geek. Does that make me conceited? I hope not, because I really do appreciate those people. They've saved my ass more then once.  
-Chris

Diary,  
If you can die of being scared I think I will. I honestly do. I'm sitting here, literally being so anxious, nervous, and upset that I am making myself sick. Major Sheppard and his team went offworld and were captured by the Wraith. I don't really know what happened, but it doesn't look good. Apparently some Hiveship has them and it went off to hyperspace and we're doing everything we can to find them. And when I say 'we' I mean a team Dr. Weir assembled that didn't include me. Luckily we had intel about where this Hiveship was headed, and that's what they went to go inspect anyway. There's a team of two jumpers going on a planet close to where they think the ship should be. I should be flying that jumper. I should be one of the pilots. I have just as much experience as anyone else! DAMNIT. I don't want to just sit here and wait. This sucks! This sucks real bad! I need to go walk this off.

LATER: Still no signs. I don't like how long they have been gone.

Diary,  
Managed to get to sleep last night for like…only five hours. It's five in the morning. I'm going to go to the control room and wait there for a little bit. Maybe Dr. Weir needs some comforting too.

Dear Diary,  
They're back! And they're alive! I'm going to write what happened while it's still fresh in my mind before I go to see Lt. Ford in the infirmary. The Wraith set up a trap for them and they walked right into it or something. So they were questioned and all that and as soon as the wraith figured out that they weren't going to give any information and they were going to start to feed, the teams Dr. Weir sent showed up. They started all sorts of havoc on the ship. Then one of the teams got caught and so only four men were left to free everyone. Everything was alright in the end. As they all managed to escape back to the jumpers quite a few people were hit with the stun weapons. Ford was included in that. I don't really know, that's what I heard, but I am going to go visit him. Not out of the woods yet. I'll update later.  
-Chris

Dear Diary,  
Things are looking much brighter. I ran down the infirmary after I last wrote. I practically shoved people out of the transporter so I could get there faster. When I got down there, there was a lot of hustling about and doctors trying to nurse the five injured men. I looked around and saw Ford's unmistakable face in a bed. He was unconscious as he laid there. It was really not what I wanted to see, but at least he was home and in relative safety. There was also a big bruise on his face. I asked him when he woke up what happened, and he said a Wraith hit him as he protested to them taking Major Sheppard away. Anyway, this is what happened while I was down there:

"He was his by a Wraith Stunner," Doctor Beckett told me.

"I heard," I admitted, not taking my eyes off the Lieutenant.

"Why don't you take a seat if you're going to be here?" Dr. Beckett kindly offered and pulled up a chair for me. I took it and I sat in it.

"We took some scans and determined he has a concussion as well, must have fallen down when the blast hit him. He's going to have quite a big head-ache once he wakes up, but he'll be fine. He's a tough kid." He re-assured me, patted me on my back and walked away to tend other patients. Even if he was going to be okay, I knew I wasn't going to stop being worried until he was awake, and even then until he was out of that bed. Major Sheppard came and waited with me most of the night, and Dr. McKay and Teyla visited as well, but I stayed. I actually fell asleep in that chair too. I only woke up when I heard a groan.

"Morning," I said softly and with a small smile as the Lt. came to. I looked at my clock and noted it was about three AM, so it was the morning. He looked around, using just his eyes, and then shifted his eyes towards me. I stood up and stood over him so he didn't have to strain.

"My head is killing me," He said sloppily.

"I can imagine," I said, making sure to keep my voice low. There was a brief moment as he tried to gather what happened to him.

"Why can't I move?"

"Doc says you were hit with a stunner and the paralysis will only be temporary."

"Great," He said dryly. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Good to have you back, Lieutenant," I said.

"Sergeant," He grabbed my attention.

"Yeah?"

"You can call me Aiden."

The grin that came on my face was seriously uncontrollable. I nodded and sat back down. He was under serious sedatives and drifted back to sleep almost immediately. I stayed for a little while longer and fell asleep once more, but only for a short while. I was hungry and got breakfast. I came back though and saw him wake up once more, far more lucid and aware. I can finally sleep now, so I think I will do just that. It'll be one of the best nights of sleep in my life, I think.  
-Chris

Dear Diary,  
Lt. Ford…Aiden…was given a clean bill of health and is back to his normal self. Even his great big purple bruise on his cheek has stopped swelling and I can't tease him as much anymore. He's been catching up with Major Sheppard so I haven't had much time to talk to him. He seems really into his work at the moment anyway, so I won't bother him. Things can finally get back to normal. Whatever normal is. What happened wasn't exactly out of the normal anyway. But that's what you get for living in a different galaxy.

Dear Diary,  
Went offworld today, as usual. The natives were nice and all, but it was weird. I got one of those weird vibes, you know? Turns out they not only farmed but had their own little version of the mafia. So the team I am part of high tailed out of there because we don't trade with…mobsters? Haha. Once we got back to Atlantis we all kind of chuckled because it was funny…in a tragic sort of way.

Dear Diary,  
On my way to take a shower today, I ran into Aiden. It was awkwardly funny. I had a towel, bar of soap, 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner, and flip flops because I don't shower in bare feet when the shower isn't mine. He just kind of looked at the supplies I had in hand and said "Shower?" and I was like "Yep." And then he let out a chuckle. It's good to see him back to normal. Before I left he asked me what I was doing tomorrow night. I told him I would probably take another shower because there was an offworld mission tomorrow. He smiled and asked me to meet him in one of the vacant rooms the city had. I agreed. Wow. I wonder what he has in store. Is there anything? The way he told me about it leads me to believe there was something up. He was hiding something. Oh man. Now I have to go through the whole damn day tomorrow wondering what's up. (!)  
-Chris


	4. Part four

Alright and here is the epic conclusion of the diary! Or yeah. Anyway, thanks to those who have read and I had a lot of fun writing this so enjoy the end! - Chelsea

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Dear Diary,  
Today's the day…and it's my birthday! Going offworld, then showering and looking nice. God, I can't wait!

MUCH LATER – Whoa. I'm not sure what just happened. But… it was something. So I got ready and wore casual clothes for the first time in about a million years. Jeans had become something of a luxury and I tossed on a shirt and short little blazer. I personally thought I looked pretty good and made my way on down the hallway to where he told me to meet him. When I walked into the room, I was presently surprised. The room actually opened up to a balcony and you could see the moon right over the ocean. Aiden was dressed in cargo pants, a gray t-shirt, and a baseball cap that he took off as soon as I walked in. It was cute. On a little table he had two glasses on Champaign and he handed me one.

"What's all this for?" I asked, taking the glass.

"A thank you."

"For what?"

"Being there for me when I was in the infirmary. It meant a lot to me that you were there, you know, waiting," He said, looking me strait in the eyes. I don't think I have ever heard something more sincere in my life.

"A thank you card would have done," I said looking around the room, admiring the effort he made.

"It's a thank you for other things too," He told me. I simply cocked my head in curiosity, choosing not to say anything.

"I have friends here, but it's hard. Major Sheppard thinks of me as a kid half the time, McKay is hard to get along with, and Teyla spends a lot of her time on the mainland or with other people," He said pausing. I hadn't ever really seen this side of him before. I wasn't even sure if opening up like this was hard for him, "And you've been the one I could go to, so thank you."

I smiled, "You're welcome," Was all I could come up with, "To us!" I said and raised my glass. He tapped it with his and we both took a sip before walking out on the balcony. We stood there, leaning against the rail, looking out to the ocean. No matter how many times you look at it, it's still amazing. We were living on a city in the middle of the ocean. And, if we wanted it to, that city could fly.

"This place is beautiful," I said staring up into the stars. It was a foreign sky and I didn't know any constellations.

"Yeah," I heard Aiden sigh and when I looked at him he was staring right at me. And then, augh, I don't even know what happened! But he kissed me! Or I kissed him, I don't know. But when it stopped I stared at him, shocked.

"This isn't allowed," I said, bewildered.

"Yeah, I know," He said…and then I kissed him. Man, I hand my hands wrapped around him and everything! And if I can be honest, Aiden Ford is an excellent kisser. Once we were…done…we just went back to talking and sipping our Champaign for a few minutes. He was then called away and we had to end the little party early.

"Happy Birthday, Chris," He told me as we parted ways. My eyes got big.

"How did you know?" I asked. I hadn't told too many people because birthdays aren't too big of a deal here on the greatest expedition in human history.

"I just know," He said and walked away.

All in all…BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. There's not much to reflect right now, other then I feel like I am sitting on a cloud a million miles off of the surface of any planet. I hope Elsa doesn't find out. I hate thinking of myself as the conversational topic between scientists. But, still a good day. Oh, damn, what a good day!  
- Christina

Diary.  
All you need to know is that today was the worst day of my life. But I feel the need to write this down so I can figure out my emotions. First off, I fell way too hard. I allowed myself to get way too attached and it had bitten me in the ass. I'm not sure why I let myself get so close to him. I guess I just though it was a little crush that will just fade. I was too stupid trying to hide my own emotions from myself to realize I was letting it grow bigger. I didn't even try to hide it from anyone. _Everyone_ probably knows about Lt. Ford and I, and it's embarrassing. It's demoralizing. It will probably one way or another get back to the pentagon and end my military career. Worst Case scenario, right? I don't care.

I just feel so guilty. I feel so damn guilty and then I went and screwed it all up. So the Lieutenant and I we meeting up for lunch. On my way there I saw him in the hallway with Major Sheppard. I knew better then to barge in on a conversation so I just hid behind the corner of a wall.

"Remember where you are in the military, Lieutenant," I hear Major Sheppard say.

"I know…" Ford replied.

"Just…be careful."

"Yes sir," Lieutenant said, and the Major walked away. I stepped out from behind the wall and looked at Lt. Ford.

"We should talk," He said.

"I agree," And we walked away to somewhere more private so no one would hear us.

"We can't do this anymore," He told me. My eye brows wrinkled. I knew I had too agree but there was something that told me to argue as well.

"Yeah…" I said softly, unsure of what to say and do.

"We're just gonna have to…not see each other as much, I guess." I finally concluded. And then that totally irrational person bottled up inside of me shot out.

"What, and pretend like none of this ever happened?" I said it much more sharp then I intended.

"I don't think we have a choice, Sergeant," He said, almost like he was reminding me of my place.

"You think just not being around each other is going to change things?" I said, my eyes narrowing.

"It's gonna have to." He said.

"Fine," I snapped, "Then I'll see you later."

"Fine."

And then we both walked away from each other. And that was that. There isn't anything else to say or mention. Even though the conversation was short…it just…stung. And the worst part, I wouldn't be feeling like this if I hadn't have blown up at him. He was being so good about it, and I flipped. I don't know what to do with myself really. I've been in my quarters most of the day. It's all my fault.  
- Chris

Dear Diary,  
I think I lost my best friend.

Diary,  
Been a little over a week since I talked to Lt. Ford. Thoughts keep itching at my mind and I know I should apologize to him. I could walk into him anytime I want and say 'I'm sorry.' But my ego is not letting me. And then I am even more bothered by the fact I can't be (wo)man enough to admit I am wrong. But, of course I am wrong. I was so wrong to act like a lunatic. I am wrong to not say something. I am wrong to avoid him like I am still fifteen years old. And I bet he knows it. And it kills me to think that he is sitting there knowing I am acting immature. Even Elsa says to apologize. Only good news (if that): I don't think anyone saw the kiss, I haven't been approached. I need to jog this off.  
- Chris

Dear Diary,  
After fighting back some tears last night, I realized I was only going to feel better if I said something to him. I'm going offworld today, but tomorrow I will talk to him. It's what's right and best.

Dear Diary,  
I did it. I went to him today. It wasn't pretty, but I did. I woke up and knew that I had to do what was right, but didn't know when. So I slumped around in the morning, and then ate a little lunch. There wasn't much of an appetite so most of my meatloaf I threw away. Then, as slowly as I could, I walked to his quarters. I took the most round about way too. I stared at his door for a minute or two before being all 'I just got to do this'. Then I rang for him. I heard his foot steps and my heart started pounding and then he opened the door. My heart sank as he greeted me.

"Hey," He said dully, not even acting surprised or anything to see me. Not that that surprised me or anything to begin with.

"Hi," I said timidly, "Can…Can we talk?" There was a moment where he considered this and stepped aside for me to come in. His quarters were just like everyone else, but with his own little touches. The Lieutenant had clicked into silent mode as he waited for me to say my peace.

"I don't know where to start," I said and nervously smiled. I wasn't even looking at him by this point, "I think all I really want to do it apologize." His face suddenly was starched with interest. "When we talked the last time I guess I was all crazy and emotional or whatever. I knew what you were saying was true but I guess I didn't want to admit it to myself. So I did what I thought was rational and I got angry. But, that was so wrong. I mean, so, so wrong. I was completely wrong and you were completely right. I can't even begin to explain to you how sorry I am. So sorry that I couldn't sleep and I couldn't eat. All I could think about was you and how I ruined a good thing." I paused wondering if I was getting too emotional, "Not like a _thing, _thing, but a good friendship that I valued more then anything on this base.

"And I'm sorry…and I don't know what I'll do if you won't forgive me, whether it's today or five years down the road." When I stopped I realized that halfway through my spiel I was staring him directly in the eyes. Everything I meant.

"It's okay," I said finally, the soft face that I knew so well returning, 'I get why you reacted that way, and I'm sorry too-"

"Don't apologize," I interrupted him.

"I wanted a quick fix but it's going to be something we work at, you know?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah," I said, a small smile twitching to my face. Then he gave me a hug, but it wasn't romantic by any means. It was just the kind of thing you would do when you saw a friend you hadn't seen for a long time, which was what it felt like. So I walked to the door, deciding that taking my leave would be the best choice of action.

"I'll see you around, Lieutenant," I told him with a wave.

"See ya," He said with a nod. I walked down the hallway only a little bit before I heard him call out to me.

"Sergeant!" I turned around, "You can still call me Aiden."

I laughed, "Maybe," I said jokingly and continued walking.

So, today was a good day. A redeeming day. Days like this only happen once in a while. I guess that friendship we made runs pretty damn deep. It was just a little tiff but we could get through it. I don't think I can honestly write what I feel right now. It's such a feeling of relief and I can move on. I have a best friend and I think it will stay that way. Nothing is going to change that fact. And that's a good feeling. So I am going to lift my head, do my job, and learn from this…and of course have Aiden back in my life.  
- Christina


End file.
